The Screw Focusing on Being Thin Smoothie Recipe

I’ve been (trying to) drink smoothies consistently for a long time now but it’s taken me a while to find a recipe that I 1) like and 2) is easy enough to make. And I mean that in the sense of it contains healthy ingredients that I can pick up from my local grocery store. I don’t live in an place where there’s much access to healthy options like solid farmer’s markets, or natural foods grocery store. (There are some, but they aren’t easily accessible for me.) It’s all about convenience.

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This year I HAVE to lose weight. I don’t really know what happened but this was me in 2013.

I can’t believe I thought I was too fat in 2013. 

That just goes to show you how skewed body perception is. There’s like –  nothing fat about that frame right there!!

We can all be so ridiculous about our bodies.

Confession: I know what happened.

Moving to Small Town Texas happened. There are only 2 things of interest to do here. 1) Eat. 2) Movies. I have absolutely no social life. I often don’t even leave the house for weeks on end. I really truly do hate living here. So instead of just going the extra mile to make it a psuedo-ok place to live in spite of how freakishly boring and dated this town is, I took up the only two real hobbies around. Eating. Movies.

No, Sweet Worried Sister, It’s Not My Thyroid.

Chatting with Mary yesterday and she said, “I saw a photo of you from a WordCamp and, Sissy, I’m really worried about you. Is your thyroid ok? It’s not like you to let yourself get ….this big. When are you going to the Doctor to get checked out. I’m worried about you.”

Photo courtesy of Marc Benzakein. Holy cow – where’d my chin & waistline go?!?

Oh sweet sister of mine. I love you. But…if my thyroid is taxed it’s only because I’ve taxed my adrenals with all the crap food I’ve been eating the last 3 years. All systems are taxed. It’s why everything hurts. I could go on and on with the chronic pain but I’d bore you or you’d think I’m insane.

Flat out truth: I am the most sedentary I’ve ever been in my entire life. AND I’ve tried every version of Chicken Fried Steak available. The combination was fun but, um…yeah.

This is not self-deprecating humor. It’s the truth. I like to say I ate my way through my divorce and that’s probably true too. Hey. Whatever. Survival is what survival is and I don’t live on an isolated island. (Close, but not.) 

Time For a Fat Flush!

I’ve actually done a really good job eliminating crappy food from my diet over the last two months but I haven’t lost one dang pound. Can you believe this?! OMG RITE?! I’m totally off sugar, wheat, and dairy. I’m about to cut out fatty red meat and stick to lean chicken breast and fish. I think it’s important for a time to help finish detoxing. It’s so true what they say about women, turning 40, and how much it sucks. HAHAHA

My good friend, Wendy Clayton, gave me the Fat Flush Plan diet book about 10yrs ago. I’ve tweaked the recipe for the Fat Flush Smoothie a few times and I am happy to say I’ve finally arrived at what I think is the best smoothie recipe EVER so I’m going to share it with you all.

You’re Welcome.

The Best Smoothie Recipe Ever

  • 1 Cup Frozen Organic Mixed Berries (Strawberries, Cherries, Pomegranates, Blueberries, Raspberries, Black Berries)
  • 1 Large Chunk of Frozen Pineapple (I buy them when they’re cheap/ripe. Cut them up. Freeze them. That way I KNOW they are super sweet!)
  • 1/4 C Whole Raw Almonds
  • 1 oz Organic High Lignan Flax Seed Oil
  • 1 oz Aloe Concentrate
  • 1 T Organic Chia Seeds, Whole
  • 1 C  Cran-water (2 oz cranberry juice concentrate + 6 oz water)
  • 1 Scoop Sugar-Dairy-Wheat Free Whey Protein Powder w/at least 25g Protein. I buy this one.

(You can view all the products I personally use on my Amazon list. **NOTE: I am not an Amazon affiliate.)

I just throw all of that in my Ninja Blender, hit the IQ Blend button, and let the machine take over and it comes out perfect every time!

I Highly Recommend the Fat Flush Plan

If you need to kick start some weight loss goals, I highly recommend the Fat Flush Plan by Ann Louise Gittleman, MS, CNS. It’s your basic “Stop eating crappy food and start eating healthy food” diet program but it’s someplace to start if you need structure to get going. I’ve replaced 2 meals / day with the smoothie recipe above. Maybe it will help with my weigh loss efforts. And if it doesn’t – whatever – it’s a good, healthy, power packed shake that has no added sugar, wheat, or dairy. It feels GOOD to eat knowing it’s super healthy and I’m giving my body what it needs to be healthy. If I lose some weight that’ll be good, too. :D

Screw focusing on getting thin.

Let’s just get healthy and the side benefits will take care of the current waistline issue. Who’s with me?!?! We women are always too self-conscious when talking about our bodies and health. Screw that, too. We’re in this together and we’re in it to win it! 

Burn Those Bridges & Don’t Look Back

Twenty-fifteen was a Good Year

I continued my life plan of ditching people who suck, building relationships with people who don’t, and trusting myself to know the difference. And you know what? To date, 2015 is my most successful year ever. Family-wise, career-wise, finance-wise.

I’ve been on this particular trajectory since 2011 and I have absolutely no regrets. I’m a huge believer in burning bridges when the bridge is rotted out. I’ve also been like this my whole life and the only real regret is that I didn’t embrace it as a core personality feature decades ago. But we live, learn, and move on. That’s the point of the burned bridge.

People are Assets or Liabilities

We each have a limited amount of energy to spend on other people. Don’t allow people in your life who are liabilities. Weed them out and keep moving forward. Don’t worry about following the latest greatest whomever in whatever little bubble you live and/or work in. Those latest-greatest people are overgrown goldfish in a little fishbowl. They’ll run out of oxygen sooner or later and you’ll be over in the big blue deep sea thinking, “Yep. I knew they were fishy.”

Trust Your Gut

If someone seems too good to be true — they are. If someone’s life seems too perfect, too balanced, too successful…trust that you are absolutely seeing through a facade. If someone seems to have the world at hand, and you find yourself feeling jealous or bitter about it, let those feelings go. The most amazing thing you will ever do for yourself is stop thinking about what other people seem to have and comparing it to what you think you do not. That is one of the most self-destructive activities you could engage in. It will roadblock you in life. So stop doing it, and keep moving forward.

Recognize people for who they really are, not the “show” they put on. Until you do that, you’ll never stop comparing yourself to those around you who are **seemingly** successful.

Recognize We All Have Faults

On the flips side, you might actually be toxic for someone else. SO – if someone tries to burn a bridge with you, let them. Obviously, if they are destroying your friendship/relationship, they don’t value their relationship with you for one reason or another. Maybe they don’t like you. Maybe you totally annoy them, anger them, piss them off. If so, it’s unlikely that you’ll resolve the issues.

Take my ex-husband for example. He hates my guts. The whole premise of marriage which requires fidelity — well — he could never embrace it. I required it. And he hates that about me. I totally killed his vibe, you know? He kept setting fire to the bridge that was our marriage. I kept grabbing the fire extinguisher. We did this game for too long. Until, finally, I saw him for who he was. And I let my gut lead me out of that relationship. At the time he set the final fire, I couldn’t see how things would ever be better. But, I turned and walked away, and left him standing there…burning it up.

I’m All the Better for It & You Will Be, Too

You only have one life – don’t waste it on toxic relationships- in either your personal or professional relationships. Let them go – and trust yourself – and things will work out exactly as they should.


Also published on Medium on January 1, 2016.


Letters For My Mother #1

I knew that winter break was going to kick my butt because guess what – even though all the kids are now over the age of 10, it doesn’t really seem to matter. They are every bit as time consuming as they ever were. They’ve just replaced play dates with “Mom, can you drive us to the store?” dates.

18, 16, 14 and 11.

I’m terribly outnumbered.

I should have seen this coming…..

I remember waking up one fine, winter morning, during Christmas break, when I was in the 9th grade. I remember walking into the living room. It was nice and quiet in the house (I had 3 other siblings all close in age.) I remember thinking, “Oh, Mom’s on the couch. I’ll go snuggle up next to her.”

As I walked into the living room, my Mom looked up from her book, where she was sitting – quietly – reading. She raised her eyebrows, sighed loudly and said, “Sissy, what do you need….at 6 in the morning??”

My spirit crushed, I said, “Just saying good morning.” And I turned a 180 and went back to my room. I don’t remember what I did after – I just know that for a long time I didn’t want to leave my bedroom in the mornings when I woke up before everyone.

Fast forward ~25 yrs. I’m 39. I’m sitting in my dark, quiet, cozy kitchen trying to write an announcement for ServerPress, which I’ve been working on (sadly) for a few days weeks. It’s 645am. It’s perfect writing time. The kids should be asleep because they don’t have school this week. They’re teenagers. They’re going to sleep in late.

No sooner do I get settled into the chair with a fresh cup of coffee, and crack open the laptop, do I hear a bedroom door open. And as a child approaches (who shall remain unnamed) I say, in my most annoyed-mom-voice, “Honey….what do you neeeeeed????”  S/he says, “Nothing, just saying good morning.”


Dear Mom, 

I totally get what happened in 9th grade that I’ve remembered all these years. I’m not sorry I wanted to snuggle with you but I am sorry that you never had nearly enough downtime when we were all growing up. You worked so hard to provide for us. I wish we had won the lottery or something so you could have just been at home, sewing, baking, gardening, writing, and playing with us. But we didn’t. And in spite of building your career with a house full of teenagers, you still found time to sew, bake, garden, write, and play with us. You were an awesome mom. I hope you enjoy all the quiet-times-on-the-couch-with-a-book-mornings you can these days. You certainly earned them. 

I love you so much. You are the most awesome parent. I can’t believe you still put up with all your kids after all these years of us driving you nuts.


Perspective is a beautiful thing, a gift, wrapped in wisdom and grace.


Adios, iPhone Apps


IMG_2453As a total experiment in taking back my time, I’ve deleted all the apps off my iPhone, save Instagram and an app I use for tracking mileage. Everything that was on my phone can be managed via the Macbook.

I want 2016 to be a year of creative endeavors and in order to do that, I need to start to minimize distractions that will interfere with projects.

So, adios iPhone Apps. You’re a time suck for me. Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Mail…you just suck up my day. I’m even about to turn off Voicemail and push all calls to a Google Voice account so I don’t have to be bothered with phone calls.

This exercise will help me become more aware of my own personal productivity and workflows. I’m looking forward to it.

Adios, Bathroom Scale.

I’m looking to scale down my life. In a lot of ways. Because the more I scale down the more I can actually achieve. My mind stays busy with all sorts of nonsense. One of those being: weight. And my weight, my body, has always been a conversation piece. Sadly.

It also has always been a very normal body though it does more than most women I know. It has birthed 4 children, at home, without intervention save the loving care of a midwife. It kept me strong when I took in my sister and her 5 kids to help rehabilitate them. It held it together when my marriage unravelled. It helped me crawl out of depression when I learned to scale limestone walls on a nothing more than a rope. It helped me succeed, to the highest standards, as I redefined my life through classical ballet teacher training. And then it carried me through a tragic and traumatic divorce, which turned my life – and my children’s lives – upside down. It is strong. It is capable. It is sound.

But it’s also that of a woman’s body. I’m not a little girl anymore who bounces back from the stress of life. Adaptations to new stressors – emotional and physical – have created a nurturing  environment for self. One thing the body does during times of stress is pack on the pounds. It’s a basal response to self-preservation. Thank you, body, for preserving me.

It’s time to move on.

So 2 weeks ago I quit eating sugar, dairy, and wheat. Not for the sole purpose of weight loss, but as a means to help clean up a lot of other issues going on. I have aches, pains, injuries that won’t heal, chronic virus infections that won’t go away, undiagnosable “pain” that is real but doesn’t show up in scans of any kind. And this has been going on long since before the divorce. It is, I believe, 100% related to my very liberal Standard American Diet and of course my love for deep fried everything. HAHA

You would think that after two weeks, and absolutely no cheating, and following a strict Ketogenic diet, that things would start to happen. But alas, when I stepped on the scale yesterday, not a single pound has disappeared. It was kinda disappointing. I miss my “real” figure as I refer to my self as I was before the divorce. In which I could grab clothes off the rack, not even bother trying them on, and everything fit fine. That’s really what it comes down to for me: can I go shopping for fun or is it a chore? You laugh, but most woman silently agree.

I used to be a size 2. I used to get a lot of compliments on my figure. What no one knew, was at the time, and for the duration of that period of life, I was on heavy medication and I wasn’t eating. At all. Maybe a morsel every couple of days. Medication == anorectic side effects. And I didn’t object. What I did do, was weigh myself every single day. And develop a strange view of self. When I got smaller than a size 2, and every vertebrae in my spine was showing, and my arms were as small as twigs, my ballet teacher complimented me on my weightloss efforts. I had started ballet teacher training a size 10. I ended it a size 2. I remember going home, weighing myself, and crying.

And going to the Dr. the next day, coming off the meds, and stabilizing my weight around 130lbs. I felt strong. I felt healthy. I felt just fine.

Fast-forward to the past two weeks. Since changing my diet, I’ve been obsessing over the scale. I have weighed myself every single day for two weeks. I have been disappointed every single day for two weeks. Regardless of how awesome I’m doing at this new dietary change. Regardless of how much better I feel overall. Regardless of progress I’m making at the gym. Regardless of the fact that all my clothes fit better. The puffy circles under my eyes are gone. The water bloat is gone. I’m associating defeat with this lifestyle everytime I step on the scale.

It’s a mind game.

I saved the batteries. They are still good for something.
I saved the batteries. They are still good for something.


So I threw the scale away today. My weight is not my self worth. The scale is as toxic as the sugar I was consuming. I’m decluttering my life. And that includes my Self. I encourage you to do the same. I’m now free to go forward without self-hate. Which is basically what all that boils down to.


I enjoy working online until times like these arise. Then I have to filter and mute so much of the internet or my emotional triggers are flared up. There is just so much uncertainty these days and we’re all so quick to tweet our raw emotions – good and bad – and then all so quick to judge each other.
It’s like the iVillage forum has thrown up all over the net.
In other words – there’s nothing new here with the vitriolic drivel coming from our fellow man – it’s just amplified because the number of people online today vs. even 10yrs ago, has increased by the billions.
Everyone is wrong.
Everyone is right.
Everyone is good.
Everyone is evil.
Every civil liberty affords freedom.
Every civil liberty brings oppression.
Every negative social tax brings a positive social entitlement.
Every positive social entitlement brings a negative social response.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Newton’s 3rd law applies both to the physical space, metaphysical space, and now the Internet of Things/People/Events/Emotions.

My Greatest Contribution to Twitter

I got railed on a little for calling her female instead of a woman but in my mind it’s all the same:

Crazy  how much traffic it gained and no, I never promoted it. It just kinda went viral on it’s own. I have no real idea why.

Screenshot 2015-11-10 15.02.16

Twitter is quirky like that.

Try not to spend too much time obsessing over it.