Twenty-fifteen was a Good Year

I continued my life plan of ditching people who suck, building relationships with people who don’t, and trusting myself to know the difference. And you know what? To date, 2015 is my most successful year ever. Family-wise, career-wise, finance-wise.

I’ve been on this particular trajectory since 2011 and I have absolutely no regrets. I’m a huge believer in burning bridges when the bridge is rotted out. I’ve also been like this my whole life and the only real regret is that I didn’t embrace it as a core personality feature decades ago. But we live, learn, and move on. That’s the point of the burned bridge.

People are Assets or Liabilities

We each have a limited amount of energy to spend on other people. Don’t allow people in your life who are liabilities. Weed them out and keep moving forward. Don’t worry about following the latest greatest whomever in whatever little bubble you live and/or work in. Those latest-greatest people are overgrown goldfish in a little fishbowl. They’ll run out of oxygen sooner or later and you’ll be over in the big blue deep sea thinking, “Yep. I knew they were fishy.”

Trust Your Gut

If someone seems too good to be true — they are. If someone’s life seems too perfect, too balanced, too successful…trust that you are absolutely seeing through a facade. If someone seems to have the world at hand, and you find yourself feeling jealous or bitter about it, let those feelings go. The most amazing thing you will ever do for yourself is stop thinking about what other people seem to have and comparing it to what you think you do not. That is one of the most self-destructive activities you could engage in. It will roadblock you in life. So stop doing it, and keep moving forward.

Recognize people for who they really are, not the “show” they put on. Until you do that, you’ll never stop comparing yourself to those around you who are **seemingly** successful.

Recognize We All Have Faults

On the flips side, you might actually be toxic for someone else. SO – if someone tries to burn a bridge with you, let them. Obviously, if they are destroying your friendship/relationship, they don’t value their relationship with you for one reason or another. Maybe they don’t like you. Maybe you totally annoy them, anger them, piss them off. If so, it’s unlikely that you’ll resolve the issues.

Take my ex-husband for example. He hates my guts. The whole premise of marriage which requires fidelity — well — he could never embrace it. I required it. And he hates that about me. I totally killed his vibe, you know? He kept setting fire to the bridge that was our marriage. I kept grabbing the fire extinguisher. We did this game for too long. Until, finally, I saw him for who he was. And I let my gut lead me out of that relationship. At the time he set the final fire, I couldn’t see how things would ever be better. But, I turned and walked away, and left him standing there…burning it up.

I’m All the Better for It & You Will Be, Too

You only have one life – don’t waste it on toxic relationships- in either your personal or professional relationships. Let them go – and trust yourself – and things will work out exactly as they should.

Also published on Medium on January 1, 2016.