In decluttering this past weekend I ran across an old notebook that I used for recording home school work with the children. It was from 2005. Claire was a baby, Hannah was 2.5, Ean was 6 and Adri was 8. It seems like AGES ago. The kids are now 14, 11, 9 and 7. The notes included in the book were rather lame and read like this: “Monday – art, latin, memory verse, phonics, math, music, nature walk, etc.”

There really wasn’t any journaling worth keeping. Though in reading through the list of subjects we covered when Ean and Adri were 6 and 8, I’m impressed at the home schooling mom I used to be. That is not the case anymore. Latin… with a 6 and 8yo??  Are you kidding me?  What was I thinking?? Well no worse for the wear really, and especially since I don’t remember any of the latin lessons. Oddly enough Latin is still Adri’s favorite language. I guess that’s good b/c we are grooming him for law school (retirement plan) and Latin will be useful for him in that endeavor. (Kind of joking but not really….)

I felt a little sad looking through the journal and thinking about all the “what ifs” but quickly stopped myeslf. I think it’s natural, when considering life, to wonder “what if” … you just can’t allow yourself to get sucked into a place of regret … and you can’t ponder, “What if?” too much!  Life sure has changed a lot for me, personally, since 2005. And obviously as the kids have grown up and changed, motherhood has changed. And as we’ve toggled between public school and home schooling, educational goals and modes have changed. And as I went back to school and sporadic bouts of employment outside of the home  here and there over the past couple of years, my interest in domestic life has changed. And life is so different today than it was in 2005.

Then I turned the page and saw a “To Do” list for 1/28/2005.

It read:  McD’s, Suzanne’s, Co-op,  Feast, Kinkos, Post Office, Gas, HEB.

And it made laugh as I realized that in the middle of all that change (chaos) some things have remained a stable and steady reality to my life:  the errands I run. My To Do list from last Friday read: McD’s, Gas, HEB, Feast, Kinkos and Post Office. You  might find this entire blog post ridiculously stupid… but it’s been very enlightening to me!  Ha!