In an interesting twist to last week’s article regarding people who are married but live apart….we now have the idea presented that one can live together, and be legally married, but live separately under one roof as if they are truly divorced. The emotional aspect of this idea is not foreign to anyone who has lasted longer than 2 months in a marraige – but the practical application of this idealism for long term living arrangements is really baffling to me! Can it really be done? And be healthy for all involved? I’d love to read some articles about couples who came up with this arrangement for the sake of the children and what the children thought of it after they were old enough to understand, somewhat, what was going on in their house. That their “family” wasn’t really a “family” after-all. Did the children feel deceived? Or were they thankful that their parents had worked out an amicable solution (in house separation) to a potentially devastating problem (divorce). Or am I just splitting hairs? Arguing straw men? Relativity speaks loudly and conflictingly in this issue, immensely. I guess that is where it all gets so confusing. I guess that’s why we are supposed to be looking to the Scriptures and relying on having a close relationship with God in order to wade through this mess called life.
And then I have to really wonder – how do the couples separate themselves from the other person – that is really interesting. At some point in time they must cross paths in the hallway? The kitchen? Do they still visit like friends or live in total solidarity? Weird! I’m definitely asking about this next week in counseling! Not as an alternative for me – but I wonder what my counselor thinks about this kind of stuff. He’s a godly man. It’ll be interesting to hear his perspective!
From THE ARTICLE I ran across today:
“We were married thirty years before we decided to live separate lives. I was all for a divorce and so was he but our accountant gave us two financial scenarios. Divorced, we would lose money. By staying together, we got to keep more of our funds and our health insurance coverage as a married couple. Tax breaks for married people certainly beat those for singles. We’re also looking at the long-term situation with pensions and retirement. Do we lead separate lives? We live in different sections of the house and have separate keys. That says it all.”
WOW! SO strange!