Well I just finished the nightmare that is picking colors for painting a few more rooms in the *new* house.  (New meaning new to us…but not new…try a 30 yr old home that was a rental for 5 yrs… NIGHTMARE I tell you! I don’t even get a clean palate to start with!)

Decorating is really such a stressful thing for me. I truly, truly, truly hate it.

Yes. I’m female.

No. I did not grow up on Mars.

I just don’t have any real sense of style when it comes to “making a house a home” and I am highly sensitive to people’s opinions regarding my (lack of style in) decorating. Just yesterday my sister told me not to go with a “tan color because the tan color you had in the other house looked dirty all the time.”  Gee. I actually liked that color…but she must have thought my house looked icky everytime she was over!! 

It’s much easier to just NOT decorate!  No one criticizes the fact that you have blankets hanging on your windows where curtains should be. Or that, even after moving in 6 months ago your bed is still sitting on the floor and your bedroom still looks like a dorm room full of essentials for living (save a refrigerator) instead of a restful place to retreat after a long day.  No one points out that sun rooms are not really storage rooms or places to use a saw table. 

People just feel sorry for you. They either think you have no money for things like curtains or they really sense that you are completely inadequate in this area of home decor and they don’t say anything at all out of a sense of duty to show unconditional love.  In either case, it would be inappropriate of them to voice a dissenting opinion on your (lack of) home decor. Much like it would be wrong to make fun of the deaf person taking a jab at Karaoke. They can read the words but they can’t hear the music and they can’t hear what they sound like!  But you know they are doing their best and so you just encourage them to have a good time!  Or to tease the child at school who eats bread and butter for lunch. You don’t. You offer them your sandwich from time to time. Because that is what humanity is all about, after all.

My sister, Mary, and my sister in law, Marilyn, have great decorating skills and I like their sense of style. I truly am ready to just have one of them come down, take my credit card, and let them have a go at it.

Just a few minutes ago, as Royce and I sat looking at paint chips next to the mantle, on the tile floor, up against the wall, next to the couch, etc. I said, “Oh I hate this house!  I can’t even simply paint the walls because the floor in this room is different than the floor in that room and that room and that room…. I just hate it! I didn’t want to start all over again!!” He said, “Just pick any color. Surely once the wood paneling is painted it won’t look like a double-wide in here anymore!”  It hit me. I looked up – looked around – surveyed the room – and sure enough – for crying out loud – it truly does look like a double wide!!! 

I wanted to CRY! 

But alas, after looking at paint chips for the longest time – we did pick the colors. Worst thing that could happen is we get the walls painted, hate the colors, and have to start over.

And, thankfully, my sister, Mary, IS coming this weekend to help me paint. But I had to pick all the colors before she got here.  It will be a nice house once we get settled in. I just hate the reality that it will be YEARS before we are truly settled into the house!  It’s a big house. There’s a lot to paint. And all the floors need to be updated. And all the doors need to be replaced. And the foundation could use a little leveling. And the kitchen is screaming out for a good deep cleaning…as in…total gutting and renovation.

But. We’ll start small. We’ll just paint the living room, entry way and kitchen in one weekend. Just think how long a blog post about the kitchen remodel will be. That one is planned for Spring 2009.  Only 2 years away!! 

I’ll post some photos of my double wide later. And then some during and after shots next week.

I don’t truly hate the house. I just had a different idea about where I’d end up after we sold our little house and moved into a larger home. I had to sacrifice convenience of a new, “clean palette” home in order to get the square footage we desperately needed.  I have to keep reminding myself to Thank God for His provision of space!!