I thought the Sabbath was supposed to be a day of rest! LOL!  So whoever thought of celebrating Easter on a Sunday??

I’m still making progress in the Holy Spirit’s personalized desensitization program following our coming out of a Christian Cult a few years ago, but you know…I couldn’t help backtrack in my mind after I wrote the opening line with, “Oh, well, first we have to establish which day is ACTUALLY the Sabbath and then we have to establish if we are going to celebrate on the Sabbath on the “Biblical” Sabbath or Cultural Sabbath and prove why our decision is Biblical even if the day we celebrate the Sabbath is not the “Biblical” Sabbath. And, once we can defend why we celebrate the Sabbath on our chosen day, then we have to be ready to give a defense as to why we celebrate Easter. And if we celebrate Easter, then we really have to be able to give a defense as to why we celebrate it, or don’t celebrate it, on the Sabbath. And don’t forget to defend HOW we celebrate it…brisket or baked ham (gasp! pork on the sabbath?? be ready to give a defense!), easter egg hunt or no, easter bunny or no, etc. so on and so forth!! Oh the pressure!  And when I do have a prepared defense…what if someone counters it and I begin to question my “convictions” regarding Easter?  Then I have a situation where I’m questioning my convictions and is it based on Man or God? If I’m questioning my convictions perhaps they weren’t convictions anyway…perhaps I was bound up in Legalism or Evangelism, both which destroy the church and seek to divide believers!! And if I were to have been a part of either then perhaps I was never really a Believer in the FIRST PLACE!!! So, therefore, who am I to say if one should or should not celebrate Easter and if they should or should not on the Sabbath, I am, after all is said and done, just a heathen who thought I was under God’s Mercy but in fact, thanks to man and man alone, has learned that I am in fact still a nonbeliever. And that revelation has just left me exhausted and so…that’s all I’m going to say about all that because now I’m really not sure if I”m saved or not and if I am, how do I really really know?”

And that is why Easter = Exhaustion.  🙂

You know, what’s really scarry, is that I actually have that conversation in my head still and I still have to stop myself and remind myself how damaging it was to my spirit to sit under Legalism and to yoke myself with legalistic elitists. And why I’m so thankful that God, in His sovereignty, sought me and pulled me from those drowning waters by breaking ties with everyone who even bears a resemblance of legalism. Though painful, I’m thankful. Though I miss them from time to time, I really am glad I’m me and not them. Though I sometimes feel amiss for the security that legalism offered, I’m daily reminded that it’s a false sense of security because it comes from Satan and not the Holy Spirit and that legalists tend to be prideful and arrogant, even if they cleverly hide it behind a spirit of false humility…which is more damaging to the Church Universal than the pride and arrogance they are trying to  hide. At least if they will expose their own hypocrisy it can be dealt with. But even the legalist will not see their own sin, they are blinded to it because they’ve convinced themselves that their false sense of humility is actually a Godly Character Trait.

God bless ’em. They need it.

Wow. I don’t really know where that all came from. But I’m tired. And I’m going to bed now.