Ok now I’m really upset. Where did the week go? At least I got all my running in. You know, that’s the most important.

We were supposed to be meeting so and so for Konos Ko-op this morning, but have pushed it back to Tuesday because I’m just not ready. But we’ll be ready by Tuesday. God willing! I have to do school work all weekend to get prepped for it. I think Konos is gonna be great – but I am just so lacking in my willingness to PREPARE. The kids really need some structure to their day though. And as much as I have loved having a house full of toddlers, that season in my life is a changing. And I’m glad of that. Even if the “ohhh…that baby is so cute…” hormones have been causing my heart to leap during my waking hours. Of course, those same thoughts are quickly replaced with the insane thoughts that come during my nightly hours.

I’m on day 3,285 of having not slept through the night.

Yes, I’ve gone 3,285 days now where I have not consistently slept through the night. Oh there might be a night or two in there where I’ve been able to go from night to morning, without any child waking me up AT ALL. But never more than 1 night a month. At the very least. No wonder I am the way I am.

Home schooling toddlers is so much easier than home schooling SCHOOL age kids! LOL! With toddlers it’s all about having fun and learning alongside Mommy. I can handle this kind of learning. It’s the book learning that stresses me out! I mean, even in the Konos curriculum for the week, I’m sitting there going, “Ok is this really even necessary to learn? I mean…really??? Oh yeah…I’m doing this for THEIR benefit, to give us something to do together AND that covers ‘school’. But, seriously, why are we diagramming sentences?!?! And I hate biology – said I wasn’t going to teach it – and here I am preparing for cow eyeball dissection for 1st graders?? Ugh!”

Frankly, I think I’m much better at the “UNschooling” approach to home education. Because there’s no standard set, I don’t feel like I’m failing my kids. Does anyone have any idea how stressful it is to try and sit down and read a book to 4 kids at one time? The baby starts fussing about this or that. The 4yr old can finish a workbook page before I can even turn to my 1st and 3rd grader and say, “Ok let’s get started!” I just want the 4yr old and 2yr old to go PLAY – but they want to be where the action is – and the action is wherever Mom is! And the 4yr old actually LOVES doing workbook pages (I think she’ll be my favorite student! shh….don’t tell anyone!)

I’m as neurotic with my approach to home education as I am with the rest of my life: chaotic, complicated and ultimately self-satisfied.

Last night at the Konos support meeting the Leader talked about having a Vision for your home school. I’ve heard that before – but never thought about applying it to ME. What is my vision for my home school? I don’t have one. I don’t even know what it should be. I have no idea how to even formulate one. But then I’m reminded of what the Leader said. God will give us the revelation of what HIS vision is for our home school. Ok ….sounds great – very Biblical and Reformed sort of feeling to that statement. Perhaps if I put my Bible on my forehead when I’m sleeping tonight, I will get the Revelation by Osmosis. Wouldn’t that be fantastic?!

Oh if it were only so easy.