Warning: the following is my sarcastic response to a blog posted by a good friend. Recently she said I was very witty. I hope she enjoys the wit. 🙂

HOLD YOUR BREATH!

Ten Reasons to Stop Breathing

From the studies put forth by many scientists, we can no longer ignore the fact that the air we breathe is toxic. It is full of microwave radiation, LAN waves, radioactive material, smog, dust, bacteria, mold, etc so on and so forth. Based on this research, we must conclude the following:

1). Continually breathing toxic air causes long term – permanent – brain damage by “shorting out” electrical impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain tissue].
2). The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the toxins found in air.
3). Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by continually breathing toxic air.
4). The effects of toxic air are residual [long term, permanent] within the human body.
5). Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients are difficult to breakdown when the blood in the body is full of toxins that have come from the air all around us.
6). Healthy cells are turned into cancerous free radicals when you breathe in toxic air.
7). Toxic air can cause cancerous growths [tumors] in the lungs, or other parts of the body. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of all cancers in America.
8). The prolonged breathing of toxic air causes cancerous cells to increase in human blood.
9). Continual breathing of toxic air causes immune system deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations, just to name a few.
10). Breathing toxic air contributes to loss of memory, concentration, emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.

Have you stopped breathing yet?After you stop breathing, you will see a general worsening of your physical state. You will die shorthly after you stop breathing. You will find much peace knowing you died healthy while all your friends died full of toxins.

To see the article I’m poking fun at visit JENS GEMS!